So yesterday I am sitting in the doctors office with 15-20 other well dressed people when I notice that waiting for the nurse to call you seems a lot like the NBA draft. You are there, but you aren't really sure when you are going. When the Nurse opens up that door everyone gets quiet for a minute, hoping to hear their name. A couple people go right when you sit down. Those must be your blue chippers your lebron's of the world. Slowly its getting close to Go time, and anticipation starts to build. Its like the eighth pick, the door opens..............................Jaunita Morales...............Dang it, that's ok I didn't want to be a clipper anyway. Then there is the buzz around the green room (waiting room) after the pick as everyone tells their entourage that they should have gone with that pick. Just as the buzz dies down, the door creaks open and silence again..................Bob Schleport. Nothing, no movement, no buzz, its the unthinkable he didn't even show up. Now this sparks some excitement in the green room as it means another player (patient) will be getting drafted quicker. Again the buzz intensifies as the anticipation grows and all eyes in the room are locked on that draft door. Here comes the Nurse in her best draft scrubs (teal of course) and the next pick in the Draft is Hector Camacho.............Are you serious "Macho Cmacho"? Now I am getting irritated, I KNOW I should have gone ahead of the macho man. Just as my anger starts to boil, and my hair is standing on end..........."Scott.........Scott Bittner".....................Wait that's me. Yes..........YES YES YES..............I am so excited, finally. Somewhere in the crowd my momma is crying and offering Ernie Johnson and Charles Barkley some Bundt Cake while Hubie Brown talks about my upside and my good hands, but being 5'11 my wingspan is questioned..............I'll show em. I know its Modesto But hey I am in the L. What a great draft, although I do feel bad for the Ukrainian who is still in the green room and hasn't been drafted.

It has been brought to my attention that some people (KELLY) think that the Oakland Athletics are a better franchise than the San Francisco Giants. Her reasoning of course is because her A's have 4 Championships and the San Francisco Giants dont have one (The Giants franchise has 5 championshops by the way). Another part of her reasoning for hating the GIANTS is because she lives in the Bay Area and no one in the Bay Area cares at all about the A's except for her and the three weirdo's I saw on BART a couple weeks ago. The main reason she hates the Giants is Barry Bonds. I understand its easy to hate Barry Bonds because he gets all of the pub in local newspapers. I mean c'mon the most famous person in the A's organization is Billy Beane, and I realize that nobody on the A's has ever taken Steroids ..................... and Players like Mark McGwire, Jose Canseco, and Jason Giambi were just wrongly accused
<-------------------
<-------------------{NOT A BAT}
<-------------------
I know the A's are better than a AAA team but they draw fans and get respect like one, in fact there might even be more Sacramento Rivercats fans than Oakland A's fans. Sorry Kelly, the BOTTOM LINE is the Giants are a better franchise and have more fans, and more hall of fame players and a better history. I mean its not all bad at least you have .............................................
umm....................................................hold on......................................................Carney Lansford? i mean it could be worse. Your claim to fame could be Bo Dodson....................You hard core Ports fans feel me (circa 1988).

-By the way Greta no I cant stand Stephen A. Smith, annoys me to no end.
-I think the Giants are done, thanks for nothing Brett Tomko and Grandpa Fassero
-Did you ever notice that stupid people dont know they are stupid? I was in a store today and my total was 6.50 and i handed her a 10. The phone rang and she answered it and when she got off looked at me dead in my face with MY ten dollar bill in her hand and said, its 6.50 sir.........................Deet Da Dee

Shouts out
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Diet Coke
Taco Trucks
Pizza
Pasta
Carries Ribs
Moms Chicken Catcha
(by the way this is the food edition of shouts out)

Random Thoughts

Just this week I lost my cuz cuz who moved to Austin Texas. My friends Greta and Ben live in Denton Texas and the closer on my fantasy team is Brad Lidge, so as you can tell my mind is definitely on the Hurricane getting set to hit Texas. I love those people dearly (not Lidge) and hope that everyone is ok and the hurricane settles down and turns into a rainstorm.

Speaking of Rain, last tuesday in the Central Valley there were massive thunderstorms and rain, and when i say thunder i mean THUNDER (not the Golden State Warriors Mascot either) . Every 30 seconds there was a huge thunderstrike for at least 15 minutes. My client and i sat in the car and counted the time in between thunder strikes. a very weird day.

Even if the Giants dont make the playoffs at least these last couple weeks have been interesting and exciting. We have one person to thank for that........................Randy Winn. I bet you thought i was going to say Barry Bonds huh? Well while mr. Bonds has had some huge hits and put an absolute scare into the National League, Randy Winn just might have been the best pick up at the trade deadline, especially since he is hitting like .400 with 7 hr's against the dodgers. That is exactly how you become a real Giant. Welcome to the squad Mr. Winn

This might be the year of the collapse. The red Sox folded, and the yanks will most likely hold on. The White Sox are in the process of pulling one of the greatest chokes of all time. Having a 15 game lead on August 1st and seeing the lead shrink down to 1 1/2 games before fridays games. Rumor is veteran catcher Jake Taylor has these young upstart indians playing good ball.

One thing I am slightly excited about is the next Al Pacino movie coming out october 7th. Not only am I a huge Pacino fan but I also like the work that Matthew McConaughey does in his flicks. Especially Reign of Fire which is a great flick that slipped past most peoples radars. So needless to say i am excited about the upcoming film Two for the Money.

Just some thoughts i had, it is what it is.
Like they say in the streets, watch the cornage....................hey now
SHOUTS OUT
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Tiffy
Ladies at her office at work
Don Yaghi
B

THE HOME DEPOT...



So as I grow older I am learning to do things that I haven't needed or wanted to do, for example lawn care. I currently live in a rental home but plan to have my own home someday and my landlord approached me about doing the lawn myself and taking 50 dollars off the rent. In these trying times where every spare penny is needed for gas I took him up on the offer and began mowing the lawn and taking care of the yard. In taking on this task I have begun to frequent a store I usually wouldn't do my shopping in. The good ol` Home Depot. The De-POT as I like to call it has a interesting set up as it is. You don't run into the same clientele that you would run into at safeway or at target or at the mall. I have taken the liberty of breaking the customers down into categorys to help you under stand.

First and foremost on the Home Depot Totem pole is are the SHOULDBE's. These are the people that genuinely belong there, the contractors, the plumbers, the painters, the handymen. These people are obvious to point out as they fly around the store seemingly know where every item is without asking one of those people in the orange aprons for help. As far as a consumer, I respect them being there as I am in their world. Another sign of the SHOULDBE's is their oversized pick-up trucks taking up multiple spots in the parking lot.

The Second rung of the HOME DEPOT totem pole are the WEEDERS. These are the people that go to Home depot simply for the Garden dept. Even worse they actually hang out there, I was trying to get help with a little Turfbuilder for my lawn and the old Orangy was too busy talking to a customer about the "way a bulb reacts to the direct sunlight during the fall months". Which would be fine but they were obvioulsy chatting not shopping. These customers can be detected by their obvious loitering in and around the garden dept. When they cant find someone to talk to they pick up the self help gardening books to eat up time until someone becomes available.

This next rung is where I fit in, I am proud to be part of the LOOKLIKE's. We are the ones who wander aimlessly through the HUGE warehouse always picking the wrong aisle, and refuse to ask for help because no matter which aisle we wander down there is always something we think we might need in the future. We also have this look on our faces like our mothers just dropped us off in the middle of the mall during Xmas season. HUGE bulging eyes and slow small steps around every corner. We are a very funny group to watch as I watched some of my brethren wander yesterday.

Last but definitely not least we have my favorite Deponite, the JOBBERS. Their are people who actually hang around the store looking for work. Asking the SHOULDBE's for work and trying to drop their expertise in handiness to all who will hear.
Apparently there is a nice man willing to help me with my lawn and my
turfbuilder if I need. I told him i think I could figure it out. Not to mention
he looked like Derrick Turnbow's crazy cousin, minus teeth and add more psycho. I don't want to label the guy but I am fairly sure he has overalls and a meat cleaver in his truck. I wasn't in the mood to find out.

So next time you are at the depot check it out, I would love to know what category you would be in. I now know that I am proud to be a LOOKLIKE

SHOUTS OUT
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LYDELL "Da Sneak" Willis
Katie "hook em Horns" Fox
Tiffy "10 weeks of vacation" Bittner
Derrick Turnbow's crazy cousin